Today marks the first installment of a new schedule for my blog posts and newsletter. Drafting each post on Tuesday afternoon (cue the Moody Blues) fits better into the flow of my week. Writing and publishing on the weekend was hampering the momentum of writing my memoir.
This decision was not entirely intentional. Last Sunday, when I should have been composing a blog post, I made the choice to finish the novel I was reading. Normally, I am the queen of powering through when something needs to be done.
Normally, I can fall back on the experience of countless exhausted evenings in the hospital when I had to finish seeing patients. This past Sunday, I had no justification, no rationalization for skipping a newsletter; I just wanted to finish my novel.
In the aftermath of my choice, I see that publishing on Wednesdays works better. It’s as if another, deeper level of my brain made the choice for me. Something hijacked the executive function of my frontal lobe, and instead of my life falling apart, it got better.
This week, Jocelyn Glei’s newsletter included a link that reminded me that struggling to control my experience can cause suffering. She sent a link to a podcast from Tara Brach, a Buddhist meditation teacher, about “Relaxing the Over-Controller.” Now I remember: being open to new possibilities can be healing.
I’m hoping that you will continue to enjoy reading my blog and newsletter in midweek.