Let go of the outcome. It’s a paradox (kind of like writing formal poetry). I have a goal of letting go of goals. It’s a great learning process.
For instance, having a son is a blessing. He is smart, funny, sensitive, mature, and caring. Did I set out with these specific goals in mind? No, although my husband and I love the adult that our child became.
We took it moment by moment, day by day. We were the parents that our son needed us to be. And if things ended differently? Would we shame and blame ourselves? Probably, but we would still know we did our best.
Attachment to Things
I closed my private practice after eleven years because of events outside of my control.
The decision to close the practice wasn’t as painful as what came just before when things began to fall apart. Once I made the decision, I began to learn, grow, and reframe. I ended up happier. I paid attention to my daily process and stayed open to possibilities.
Making Bad Decisions
Through writing my memoir, I’ve seen a pattern of decision-making in my life. I often made rash decisions. With minimal information, and sometimes with disregard for my gut feelings, I charged ahead. But whatever path I took, there was never a dead end, even if it felt that way. There was always a way of getting unstuck.
My goals are less urgent now. I want to revise my memoir, learn how to write a query letter, and share my thoughts with the world. I try my best at each goal, but I don’t control any of the outcomes. And that’s okay. Wherever the process takes me is okay, and I will continue to move forward from there.
