I’m Not Retiring from Being a Doctor (I’m Retiring to Being a Writer)

It helps me to understand what motivates me. Thirty-five years ago, when I decided to apply to medical school, I used Richard Bolles’ What Color Is Your Parachute? to help me move from the vague notion of wanting to help people to the specific way I wanted to do that. This week has been helpful for crystallizing my motivation to write.

On Thursday, I squeezed a few minutes of writing into my clinic day. My writing mind had stayed close to the surface that day. Normally, my life is compartmentalized: doctor days, writing days. But my commitment to writing has deepened, and the patient flow had not been crazy.

The Writing Life

That evening, I had enough energy to go to the launch of Stockpot 2019, the literary mag edited by students at Stockton University. My main reason for going was to support the guest reader, who is a long-time poetry friend. It felt so different from the days in full-time medical practice when I had to drink coffee and keep seeing patients, no matter how tired I felt. Now, I am being pulled, not pushed.

At the end of the evening, I felt invigorated and happy. My friend was happy, too, that I had come. While she was waiting to go on, we talked about our writing lives. She has set her memoir aside for now, and she’s making progress on a novel.

I told her about the poetry group meeting from the night before. All four of us had brought good poems, and there was an overlap in the subject matter. There were two poems about fathers telling stories. There were two poems about violence done by neighbors. These synchronicities happen often.

I talked to my friend about my new insight. Although writing is a solitary effort, one of the main payoffs for me is forging personal relationships, both with readers and with other writers. Earlier in the week, I had gone out to lunch with another writer. He is working on his third manuscript for self-publication, writing mostly for his family.

Connecting with Others

He was surprised to hear that I’m willing to learn about traditional publishing, which sounds like too much work for him. To me, it’s a challenge, a chance to learn new things. He was generous in sharing resources that were helpful for him since I’m in the early stages of my memoir.

Until my first manuscript is finished, I have the satisfaction of connecting with others through my newsletter. Since I rebooted my blog three weeks ago, each post has resulted in a few heartfelt email replies.  It shouldn’t surprise me that those emails are so rewarding for me.

Just as surprising is the fact that not all writers have the same motivation. We learn from each other. Medicine has been a great way to connect with others in a healing way. I’m making a shift to put more emphasis on creativity. Writing is the new way for me to stay connected to others who think and feel as I do.

Question: Have you ever stopped to think about what motivates you to do the things you do? Leave a comment below and let me know.