Deborah Bayer

The heart has its own time.

The Heart Doctor

  The Heart Doctor A massive MI, myocardial infarction, happens on a plane from London to LA. The woman doesn’t know her distress is a symptom of her heart. The pastor says, lift up your hearts, and we say, lift them to God. Everyone else was amazed, but Mary pondered these things in her heart.

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a single dried red rose on a white horizontal surface

Window to the Bay

  Window to the Bay Sometimes I ask my patient, can you smell it? Of course, she can’t. Necrosis happens slowly, a little more each day. There’s time to adjust. My birthday was weeks ago. The flowers are dead. A clear square vase sits on the kitchen table, its decay, vegetable. I am no stranger

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Front view of the Islamic Center of Atlantic City

I’m Still Your Doctor

  I’m Still Your Doctor I happen to be there when you’re admitted. My job is to keep you alive at any cost. Lucky for you that I have experience & I’m really good at diagnosing the opportunistic diseases of AIDS. So when you have the bad luck to have a rare pneumonia & a

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moon and forest at night

Story for My Sister

  Story for My Sister   The moon sits on the left shoulder of Cristo Redentor. At least, that’s the way it seems to you from your gutter in Rio. You lay down here to cool off in the fire hydrant spray, one of the best hangover remedies. This time, the white marble Redeemer lends

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How Poetry Saved Me

During a week-long meditation retreat in 1999, ten years after graduating from medical school, I unlocked a box in my chest that held ten years’ worth of grief and anger. Tears and heat poured out of that box. I had survived medical school, postgraduate training, and my first five years as a full-fledged doctor, but

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campfire at night

Instructions for How to Start Over

Instructions for How to Start Over i. It’s not necessary to destroy everything. Everyone thinks that fire is cleansing, but fragments of bone are left behind; ashes cling to your face with static electricity. Still, they don’t disguise you. New life begins from excrement, the remains of what you consumed.

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